Max is downstairs doing a swallow test. Please pray that all go well so he can get on the road to eating. He is so ready to actually chew food and swallow it! He had some company today and he loved it. It's great to see him animated and interacting with everyone. God is good, God is moving and God is Awesome!!
Thursday Still Written August 4, 2011 2:10pm
Max is downstairs doing a swallow test. Please pray that all go well so he can get on the road to eating. He is so ready to actually chew food and swallow it! He had some company today and he loved it. It's great to see him animated and interacting with everyone. God is good, God is moving and God is Awesome!!
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Thursday 8/4/11 Written August 4, 2011 9:51am
Please pray they find out what is causing his elevated white count. The cultures may show something. Please be in agreement that whatever it is, it is gone from his body. Wednesday Night Written August 3, 2011 10:20pm
Crazy, crazy, crazy day....I feel like I've been on a rollercoaster and FYI I really don't do well on rollercoasters. When I went in Max's room this morning I thought he was back on the vent because they had changed the way his breathing thing was. It looks like the vent hoses but it wasn't. No nurses, no respitory specialists.....waiting, waiting, waiting. It probably wasn't that long but it seemed like it. He had did well all night and was still off the vent. Physical Therapy came in and he was doing good. Yesterday he could hardly sit up without feeling sick, today he did 15 minutes of hard work. Everything was going good until this afternoon. They needed to do some sheet changing so we stepped out into the waiting room. When we went back in they had him in a chair but he was a mess. They said he had a fever, his blood oxygen was dropping and they couldn't keep it up. They were suctioning him, forcing more air in his lungs, just chaos. A friend was back there with me. She was led by the Lord to come and pray for him and as always God is always on time. They were working on him and we were praying. He finally stablilized and they started looking for why he was running a fever.. I have noticed every time they give him a certain pain medication it knocks him out and he starts shivering real bad. He says hes cold and he can't get warm. After a while it starts to wear off and about the time he comes to his senses and starts to communicate he gets another dose. I asked the nurse and she said he was scheduled to get this medication. Before he was asked if he was in pain and needed the medication, not now. He was scheduled for this medication around 4 or 5 pm. His nurse told us he had the option to refuse the medication and he did. When I went back in after shift change around 8:00 I asked the new nurse and she said he had no fever. He probably got hot from the blankets he had on because he was cold. I've asked the nurse not to give him this medication and talked with another resident on his case to find something different and to ask him if he needed it. I realize his back is a different deal, but he's had other surgeries and wouldn't take pain medication at all. He tried the sip test, this is were they give him a glass of water and he takes sips to see if he can swallow correctly. When you haven't used that muscle for a while it's hard to swallow and it goes down your lungs. Well, he did good for 2 sips but the 3rd one got him. They wouldn't let him try again and he was frustrated. Later when Ray was in the room he wanted him to lift both of his legs and move them. He thought that would help him be ready to leave tomorrow. He was mad at me because I told him I couldn't just move his legs around because I didn't want to make anything worse. He was angry with me, I layed my head down because I just wanted to cry and was trying so hard not to. Then he's crying and saying he's sorry. Oh Lord, this is such a horrible place to be in. I know you love me and I know your there but it's just so hard. Empathy, sympathy & compassion are things that are felt at a gut level. Many times you have to walk that road to understand what others are going through. In all honesty I really don't want to walk that road, I really don't think I care to have that in common with anyone. I just want this to end happily ever after, God comes riding in on the white horse and taps Max with his magic wand and it's all good. God doesn't have a magic wand, which is probably good because if I was God I would zap people with it. ;0) It's amazing how when you put things down on "paper" it gives you perspective. I really don't like being a whiner, I guess it feels safe to express that in a way that doesn't hurt anyone or spirals out of control. God is on our side, the best is yet to come with Max, I just can't see it yet. Tonight, right now I will celebrate the victories, I will not let the enemy win, our life is not what if....our life is when we.... Okay, tomorrow is a new day, I cleaned up & washed my hair and I'm ready for what tomorrow brings. It's getting better and better, Max is getting closer and closer to talking and all his nurses will hear his lovely voice and I'm sure they won't forget his laugh when they hear it. One funny thing, Max has no idea that I've literally spent hours standing by his bedside and staring at this face. Honestly I wasn't sure it would be there the next day to stare at. Such a simple thing I always took for granted because I hadn't done it in so long ~ don't some of you guys remember when you were dating your spouse and you could just sit and look at them..... Well, anyway, it's funny because now that's he awake he really doesn't like me just staring at him. His concept of time is so messed up. I'm sure he's wondering if he has something on his face or his hair is messed up. I guess I'll have to keep my gazing to a minimum unless he's sleeping. Thanks for letting me ramble myself happy, thanks for being there. I feel like I can go to sleep wrapped up in a blanket of warmth ~ not these thin hospital blankets but the thoughts and prayers of everyone out there. Until tomorrow....much love. Sherry Wednesday Morning Written August 3, 2011 10:48am
On my iPhone but I couldn't wait. Max had a different deal on his treac. And I thought he was back on the vent. It seemed like forever before someone came in and told me that he was still off vent just a different type of deal. Over 24 hours off the vent!! I'm so excited, physical therapy is in and he's doing a great job. His nurse monday stopped in to see him and thought he looked so much better. Doing a happy dance here! . Tuesday Night Written August 2, 2011 11:26pm
I keep thinking that I will find a day when I will not cry. I haven't found that day yet. I think of when Max came into the hospital. Watching his heartbeat at 130 - 140 beats per minute. Watching his fever climb and not want to come down. Part of me wants to forget those early days but a part of me wants to remember how desperate I was for him to keep fighting and not give up. I really don't want to be complacent in my life again. I quickly forgot how Max looked hooked up to 9-12 lines running into his body, how all the tubes and drains looked when other came in to see him. This horrible situation quickly became my new normal. It's amazing how our minds adapt to new situations. At first I cried because I didn't know what would happen. I told the kids that it was okay to cry. It didn't mean we didn't trust God, it didn't mean we had a lack of faith. It just meant that our life had changed and we didn't know where we were going. We were mourning things that would not come to pass that we had planned on doing, our lives had been altered and we couldn't go back and change that. No do overs, no try agains. Now I cry because I hate to see him in pain. They suction his lungs to try and get the secretions out of his lungs. When they do his body is racked with pain. You see it on his face and there isn't anything you can do. I watch his numbers, such a strange thing to occupy your day. But his life is in the numbers. His heartbeat, his blood pressure, how many breathes per minutes he takes, how much oxygen is in his blood. I pray, I beg, I plead, I take authority.......I fall exhausted at my Fathers Feet. Lord help me, help my unbelief, help my weariness, help me let go and trust you totally. I do, I don't, I do......he has our lives in his hand. He can help me through the rough patches. He knows I trust him but he also understands my sorrow. My prayer tonight was Lord please help his blood oxygen stay above 95% I don't want him to go on the ventilator, I want him to breath on his own without trouble. It breaks my heart when he writes me notes about going home and walking around the field. He doesn't want to go to therapy, we can walk the property and he will get stronger. He asked me ask the nurse if we could go home, he wrote he was blessed and we would get stronger at home. I want to bawl like a baby but I can't, he wouldn't understand. But, every day is new and God has said his mercy is new EVERY morning. I will go to bed with praise on my lips for my God is able to do exceedingly above and beyond anything I can imagine. He is the author and finisher of Max's life and mine. While I may splutter in the waves that wash over my head, I know that God will lift us out of them. I pray everyone has a wonderful evening/day. Take a few minutes to count your blessing and give your loved ones an extra kiss. Sweet Dreams, Sherry Tuesday Morning Written August 2, 2011 7:28am
I got a goods night sleep and there wasn't to much noise in the waiting room this morning. The teenage girls from another family spent the night and they woke up this morning and they are sitting behind me giggling ~ but trying to do it quietly. The fun things in life go on! It's hard to believe it has been 2 weeks since Max's accident. If you had asked me if I could pick up and leave my home for weeks I would have thought you were crazy. Now my home seems like another planet. I know I'll have to look at it in completely different eyes. Until Max is walking again we will have to make some big adjustments. No one buys their house thinking will a wheelchair fit through here? will it fit in this room? will this furniture work? can you get in a waterbed from a wheelchair? This is when one day at a time will work well for me. All the things we talked about doing that hadn't been accomplished yet. Fixing the cabinets, roofing the house, simple things when your able bodied but not things we can do together for a while yet. Until Max can talk, it's like the big elephant in the room. I don't want to talk to much, I don't know what he knows, I would hate to have that knowledge and not be able to talk it out. Gotta go, Max is asking for me. We need to talk about the procedure they are doing this morning for his lungs. Til later, Sherry Monday Evening Written August 1, 2011 7:41pm
They came back to the room after the tests and told us that he has some fluid around his lungs. They are going to drain it tomorrow and they think it will really help with his lungs. He was off the ventilator all day, i know they will put him back on it tonight. We are all in agreement that he will go to Rusk on Friday. His breathing will get better and better. I'm ready to put this race behind me and start our new race. I'm not sure it will be easier but there is less risk of him dying. We definately will need our friends during this new race. I know Max will grow weary, as will I. We are so blessed with such good friends. I feel the prayers and hugs. Sherry Monday Noon Written August 1, 2011 11:57am
This one is a little more detailed. The other I tried to do on my phone... Max has an elevated white blood count that they have been monitoring. They are doing a ct scan to try and figure out where the infection is. Please pray that the infection is gone, the white blood count comes back to normal. The other issue we are having is taking him off the ventilator. He does good sometimes and then he has trouble at other times. He has to be off the ventilator in order to go to Rusk. If he doesn't go to Rusk he will go to Landmark here in Columbia. We have a friend who is a nurse at Landmark and she says they have lots of turnover & it's not the best place. There is no other places that are close for him to go. Pray specifically that God strengthen him and he is able to breathe on his own and keep his blood oxygen levels up. Stronger and better each day so he can go directly to Rusk Rehab. Monday morning Written August 1, 2011 10:01am
Maxs white blood is up and his coughing is causing pain. If he does not come off the vent he will go tlandmark hospital. Pray for wisdom, discernment and strength |
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