Saturday Morning

• Saturday Morning Written Jul 30, 2011 8:16am
  
  Didn't get much sleep the night before, anticipating surgery.  Didn't get much sleep last night, people talking until 3:00.
  
  It's quiet this morning.  I didn't make it back before shift change but that's alright.  We have all day with nothing to do but improve.  Yesterday was a long day, he slept most of the day.  It's hard to not let people back to see him but I also know he needs his rest.  Sometimes my family dynamics get intense but we getting close to a new arrangement.  I"m not sure what that will look like but I'll know when we get there.
  
  I chose to do Rusk Rehab in Columbia.  It's farther away from home but I think they have a better grasp on what Max may need.  It will be a big adjustment until he regains the use of his legs.  In the quiet I've been thinking of just a few of the changes that will be coming our way.  Many things Max will have to relearn.  Most of us have time to adjust to our changing roles in life, this one we haven't
  
  I look at Max and am so thankful God has given me more time with him.  His sense of humor, the twinkle in his eyes, his enjoyment of life, the love he has for his children and the love he has for God. That is the essence of who he is.  So many of our roles change with life, married, single, the cook, the provider, the mother, the father, the one who does the chores, the one who does the laundry, the one who mows the lawn, etc.  It's sometimes hard to separate  what we do with who we are.  I can't do that for Max, he will have to figure that one out for himself.  Everyone has to see for themselves their value is who they are, not what they do.
  
  I haven't even began to wrap my head around all the changes that will be taking place.  The one thing I do know is if we take this one step at a time and just deal with today we will walk through it.
  
  For me this new day brings many emotions.  The one thing I know for sure is God loves the children, Max & myself.  We all love & trust God.  With God knitting us together in this new form and direction ~ it will turn out to be good.  I just have to remember I can't see the end when I'm in the middle.